Over a month ago, I set out to write my final blog post. A perfect ending to talk about my experiences in Africa, and to explain to everyone why, despite my amazing adventure, I decided to return home after only a year. That blog post ended up getting pushed behind all sorts of things. Leaving a third world country, one I called my home, wasn't easy. I had a lot of goodbyes and packing to do, not to mention the absurd amount of paperwork and medical things to be done. Once I arrived in the United States, a blog post was the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted to enjoy the ever-present electricity, the running water, the delicious food, and telling friends and family my crazy stories. Now I've been home for just about three weeks and I know that it is time to write that last post, the last step of my Peace Corps Service.
When I first decided to join the Peace Corps, I did it because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and I decided I could be out there helping people while I tried to figure things out. Of course things like living abroad and the adventures I could have were appealing, but I truly wanted to improve the lives of the people I was working with. Despite all of my best intentions, I decided to call it quits and return to my life in the United States. I had been wrestling with the decision for months, but ultimately made up my mind to leave after the high-school entrance exams. Since coming to Guinea I had been sick a lot, but in those last few months, I was sick more than I was healthy. I found myself in my house all of the time, which prevented me from what I had come here to do. I won't go into all of the details, but I felt as if I could no longer do my job, and that I was endangering my health by staying. It was with a heavy heart that
I left my students, my friends, and my neighbors, but ultimately, I
believe it was the right decision.
Between my arrival in Guinea on July 4th 2013, and my departure on July 1st, 2014, I had not left the country. This meant that I faced shock after shock when I made it the airport in Brussels. It felt weird to be surrounded not only by people who looked like me, but strangers who were more similar to me than those I had lived with for a year. I noticed the obscene abundance of wealth I had spent the last year dreaming about. I quickly found out that English was no longer my own secret language, and that I could use it to actually communicate with someone. In Brussels, I felt for the first time in a year what it meant to be anonymous. I could walk from Point A to Point B harassment free, a face that was lost in a crowd. Not a single person screamed at me, or even tried to get my attention. It was ridiculously liberating and I wanted to walk around all day drinking it in! While clearing customs in Newark, the first thing I noticed was the obvious space bubble each individual had about themselves. There was no cramming like sardines into a mass surrounding the booth! I was so completely overwhelmed by the experience that coming down that last ramp and seeing my family felt surreal to me. They were smiling and crying, and all I could do was blankly stare. I was overwhelmed, but in a weird way being back felt completely normal, almost as if I had never left.
So how do you wrap up what you learned in a year? Just by trying to write this post, I learned that you can't. But just because I can't put it into words, doesn't mean that it won't stick with me and affect me for the rest of my life. Every single day was an adventure, and I feel like I learned enough to fill a lifetime. I learned how to do basic things like wash laundry by hand, cook dinner over a fire, how to travel on a dime, and how to recycle ANYTHING. Basically, I should be okay if there is ever a zombie apocalypse. I became really good at relating and communicating to complete strangers and how to give an impromptu speech, in a foreign language, to hundreds of those strangers. I became much more patient, and flexible. By necessity, I learned to adapt to new situations and environments. My neighbors taught me what generosity, friendship, and living as a community really looks like.
Many people have asked me "if you could go back, knowing what you know, would you make the same decision?" Absolutely. I am very grateful for the chance I had and that I was able to use a year of my life to help someone else. Sure it was really difficult, but the best things in life come with hard work and dedication.
With that, I bid you ADIEU. I can't thank you enough for all of your support and prayers while I was serving in Guinea.
Sincerely (and for the last time)
Kadiatou Camara
