When in Guinea...do as the Guineans do

 So this post commemorates some pretty notable moments. The biggest, I've now been a volunteer for one month! In addition, I've passed the three month mark here in Africa, I've been at site for a month, and I finally started teaching. So what happened my first month at site you ask? Awkwardness beyond belief, a lot of laughter that was mostly at my expense, and anywhere from three to eight hours a day of sitting in a hut. Despite all of this doing nothing, quite a number of notable things have happened and will be divided into the following subtitles; food, language, fashion, bugs and pests, school, villagers, illness, travel, politics and finally, my cozy little house here in the savannah.

FOOD ADVENTURES

So this one isn't as crazy as one might seem because I do most of my own cooking now. In fact, I haven't had pumon (hot peppers) in about three weeks! However, I have a very shady propane powered stove that works so efficiently it can burn anything almost instantly. For that reason, I've gone without many meals simply because I don't feel like cooking. When I do eat, I eat a lot of spaghetti because it's simple, and a lot of cucumbers because it's one of the few vegetables easy to find, and it doesn't require the stove. I know I mentioned this before, but the people here really abuse sugar. Everything is drowned in it. Obviously this is a rough estimation, but I wouldn't be surprised if I've had a pound in the past month and my body is freaking out. Unfortunately, it's rude not to take what is offered to you, and so that means lots of tea, and the daily crock pot full of ye frais (balls of flour in sugar water) that I am given. I hate to waste it because it's good, but I just can't take it anymore. They even like to eat cucumbers with sugar! Before the crock pots of ye frais, my go-to breakfast was freshly baked bread with jelly...until my jelly completely molded. I guess jelly really does need to be refrigerated.

While sitting in a hut for those 3-8 hours, some form of food is usually involved. Normally, it's just raw peanuts, and I've probably eaten my weight's worth of those, but there have been some gems like fruit resembling circus peanuts, and other fruits resembling captain crunch. Another volunteer provided the comment that they are probably what we call circus peanuts and captain crunch...a year before we eat it. It's not entirely impossible.

Finally, I will end with the shocker that I have eaten meat. When I visited my regional capital to go to the bank, I went with another volunteer to a cute little restaurant overlooking the river. The only thing they had was chicken and fries, so I went ahead and ate it. The chicken wasn't great, but it wasn't bad, and the fries were great! I guess I'm starting to learn that malnutrition does crazy things to you.

LANGUAGE

So for those of you who kind of speak another language, do you ever get frustrated because you are losing an argument you'd win in your native language? Well, in my village at least, I've learned how to solve that. I'll just go off on a rant in English stunning them into silence. This also works when you know people are talking about you in a tribal language that you can't speak. Speaking of, I guess my Susu has gotten a little bit better. We will occasionally have Susu-English conversations where they tell me words in Susu and I teach them the word in English. This always leads to those who have studied a little english coming up with ridiculous phrases like “give me my peanut.” Technically it's correct so how can I correct them? Most of my Susu conversations with people are pretty one-sided and they talk as if I could completely comprehend them. More than once, a student has been walking by when this happens and will often translate it into French for me. My most useful phrase so far is Addé, kobiri mu na. No, I don't have money. The word addé is a much sassier way to say no then the French word for no and has therefore started to replace it from time to time. Basically, my Susu, French, and English are all suffering, but I'm told that will change eventually.

FASHION

Wearing floor-length skirts can occasionally be a struggle. Especially when it comes to riding a bicycle and playing soccer. Just yesterday, I was biking to school wearing a pretty flow-y floor-length skirt. This was a feat in and of itself, but I was then given a lid-less crock pot full of, what do you know, peanuts. I was able to get to school only having lost one and without my skirt catching in the chain! The most common “skirt” here is really a piece of fabric that is pretty insecurely wrapped around you. One day, I ending up playing, successfully I might add, soccer wearing the skirt-fabric contraption. That's pretty much all for MY fashion, but I can't end this section without mentioning santa hats. I have yet to figure out why people are always walking around wearing santa hats, or any type of winter hat, but it's definitely a thing here.

BUGS AND PESTS

This needs introduction because I know you, the reader, are already imagining crazy things. Let's start with ants which range from miniscule to an inch long. Then, there are the ants that bite, or more accurately, pinch you. They are NOT fun and unfortunately, they decided to invade my house one day. I woke up to hundreds swarming my house (think 4^th Indiana Jones movies) and a neighbor came over to help me sweep them out. The mosquitos here aren't too bad because I'm far from water, but they can still be annoying. During my first week here, I found a toad in my house every morning that I would kick out, but would somehow get back in later. Now, I find mouse poop every morning even though I have yet to see one here. The cockroaches are Atlanta size, so that wasn't surprising. Spiders are another story. I've found not one, not two, but three spiders the size of my hand in the past month. I don't think they are dangerous but they certainly scare me. Let no one say that I'm not facing my fears! Now I'm not sure if I mentioned I had received a rabies shot (or rather, three) but those don't actually keep you from getting rabies. Supposedly, they just keep you alive long enough to get to a hospital for treatment. Due to this fact, I basically avoid all animals. They however, don't always avoid me. I was on a walk the other day and had just rounded a corner when I met a dog. It growled and started to lunge towards me when a rock whistles through the air and hits the dog. I'm not sure how this guy was able to react so fast, but I sure am thankful because rabies just doesn't seem like fun.

I should mention that bug diversity can be pretty cool. The same day, I had been walking through the bush and had seen at least 15 different species of butterflies. You just have to take the bad with the good I guess.

I know for a fact that the bug and pest situation will continue for the next two years, so stay tuned!

SCHOOL

In Guinea this year, school opened the 3^rd of October which fell on a Thursday. I had heard that no one usually comes, but decided to be professional and show up. Sure enough, my principal was there, but that was it. No teachers, no students. Since I don't teach Fridays, I went home and got ready for Monday. Well Monday rolls around and if memory serves, seven kids (out of about 300) showed up. The principal put all the kids to work weeding the overgrown schoolyard. Wednesday, the same story, but with maybe 30 students. Thursday, I didn't even get to school until 9 instead of 8 because I had some issues to work out with the Peace Corps that involved me leaving site for the weekend. That brings us to Monday, the 14^th of October when I actually taught. I had 15 out of 55 kids in my ninth grade class, and 20 out of 75 in my tenth grade class. I was introduced to the students by the Director of Studies who explained that I was American, and that I am a volunteer who is not paid by the Guinean Government. He went on and on about my sacrifice for the kids and how I had volunteered to teach English in addition to Math. Finally, he added that anyone misbehaving in my class would be kicked out for the whole year (but I doubt that will happen). Everyone here has been putting on a show for me. The rest of the week went pretty well, although my kids are just not at the level they need to be and I don't always do the greatest job explaining things. Because I'm teaching 9^th and 10^th grade, the pressure is really on. At the end of 10^th, the kids have to pass an exam in order to continue on to high school. It's good to know my principal has faith in my teaching, but of course I'm nervous with all of this responsibility. It's also slightly intimidating to be teaching people, who for the most part are between 18 and 20. I'm not much older than they are, and some are already married and have kids. My very first day, a girl had to leave in the middle of class to breastfeed her kid! Because kids go to Quaranic schol before elementary school, and because failing is common, kids finish school at an older age.

My math classes are pretty dry, but until English classes start, I give them 5-10 minutes of English which they absolutely love. They perk up, start participating and because they don't need English for the exam, I can do what I want and can have laid back classes. It should be a lot of fun.

VILLAGERS... or Stuff Guineans Say

“Are you a person or a devil?” It was twilight, and I was sitting on a bridge just taking in the scenery, when an older man on a moto pulled up and asked me this question. I laughed until I realized he was serious and so I explained I was a person. He seemed relieved, but still asked me what I was doing in his village. When I mentioned this encounter to my neighbor, he told me devils walk around at twilight and can change their appearance including the color of their skin. I guess it was a perfectly valid question. What was I thinking? That however, doesn't sum up most of my interactions. Most involve people pointing and shouting white person at me. Anytime I leave my house, EVERONE asks me where I'm going, why, and when I'll be back, etc. They are worse than my mother ever was. For some reason, everyone things I'm European. A fellow teacher asked me where I was from. Assuming he knew I was American, I said Pennsylvania and he asked where in Europe that was. This is also probably the only place in the word where people assume I'm French because while my accent is good, my actual French leaves much to be desired.

Much like any other human, I've always craved attention. Boy did I get it. Not only do the creepers hit on me, the best looking and most ripped guys do too! I would say almost everyone between 18 and 81 here has flirted with me, or asked me to marry them. So, need a confidence boost? Come here! Possible consequences include malaria, skin cancer, worms, frustration and more! While the adults and kids here love me, the babies are completely terrified. They either just stare at me, or bust into tears and run away.

I've made so many friends here with a concentration of old women, soccer players, and the kids who aren't scared of me. Unfortunately being friends with soccer players led to one of the most humiliating experiences of my life...

My neighbor invited me to a soccer game. I first noticed something was weird when the coach of one of teams came to my house to pick me up. He introduced me to his team and informed them that I had prepared a few words. I had NOT prepared anything and could only come up with good luck. While sitting there waiting for the game to start, I kept overhearing the term “grand delegate” being used around me and knew it wasn't over! When the game started, they brought me to center field where I met both teams, was introduced, and was given the microphone and had to give an impromptu speech to the better part of my village. Then, all of the players kneeled around me so I could “give them advice”. I would have been uncomfortable doing that in English, much less French. After kicking the opening ball, I was allowed to sit down. They tried to sit me under an umbrella, but I was able to convince them otherwise.

Turns out that this happened to several other unsuspecting volunteers who went to soccer games. Leave it to Guineans to make such a show of a soccer game between teams from the village.

When it comes to the villagers I could easily write a book on the things they say to me, but you get the idea. They are all nuts.

ILLNESS

This also needs no introduction, and will thankfully be shorter than I expected. Unfortunately, I've been stuffed up on and off the entire time. Allergies maybe?

One morning I woke up vomiting because I had eaten cold leftovers. Always reheat them! Anyway, I was tired, sick, frustrated, and emotionally compromised so I attempted to ask a neighbor to go to the market and get me something to eat. Well my Susu stinks, so they didn't understand and I broke down crying. I guess it's good to get that out of the way early?

I've only had diarrhea once since arriving here which is pretty impressive! Finally, I switched malaria meds again to the daily and most expensive, $1USD/day pill which is supposed to have the least amount of side effects. I sure hope this one works. Well, that about wraps it up for sickness. I'm hoping the good luck streak continues.

TERRIFYING TRAVEL

I've been looking forward to writing this part since I started. Maybe you've heard of the legendary bush taxis, maybe you haven't, so I'll fill you in. To get anywhere in this country, you have 2 choices; taxi or moto. As a PCV, I am forbidden to get on a motorcycle, so that leaves Taxis. What you do is head to the “station” and wait for the taxi to fill up. If this happens in less than an hour or two, it's a miracle. In a normal 4-5 passenger car, this means 4 passengers in the back seat, two in the passenger seat, and if you are really unlucky, they sit someone in the front row between the driver and passenger seats even though the cars are all manual. Did you know you can fit four people in the front row of a four person car? They will then strap stuff (and oftentimes people) onto the top of the car until the stack is at least as tall as the car is. Then, if they can get the car to start, you are on the way. Next, due to the condition of the roads, it can take anywhere from 1-2 hours to travel the 20 miles between my village and the paved road. There the process of finding a taxi and waiting for it to fill begins again. Last weekend it took me almost 10 hours to travel 90 miles, and I spent four of those hours sleeping in a shack waiting for a taxi to fill. Sound safe yet? The cars, trucks, buses, whatever, are in appalling condition. I've only seen one car which actually started by a key instead of touching wires together. They've got plastic containers under the hood where they pour the gas, windshields are often cracked, side mirrors non-existent...and the list continues. Yet, these, and in fact the whole process, are deemed safer than traveling by motorcycle.

In my village, I've done a decent amount of walking and exploring pathways. Normally by myself, but sometimes with my neighbor who, being born and raised here knows all the tricks. The countryside is beautiful and I always make lots of new friends along the way. In fact, because of this, I never explore as much as I would like because people stop me to talk or have me sit with them and eat peanuts.

POLITICS

Politics! The one thing I'm not supposed to talk about. That's not entirely true, I just can't really voice my opinion. The elections were a big part of my first month, and it was really cool to be here for them, but nothing has come out of it. They were the 28^th and results haven't been announced. The opposition was planning to make a big stink about it, but that was several weeks ago and I haven't heard anything lately. The main reason for this section was to share statements made by my neighbors that I found amusing

1. “Americans love Cellou Diallo” - I had to try not to scoff as I explained that most Americans don't know that Guinea is a countryside
2. “Guinea is doux. No coup d'états, no wars, there are no problems here. Is America like that?”

And with that we move to the final section

LITTLE HOUSE IN THE SAVANNAH

And now down to business. I think I'm slowly adjusting to life here and having the house I do brings a lot of comfort. I mean, it's not every day you can go to the bathroom sitting down (oh wait! It is!). I have to joke because integration has been really tough. You are stripped of your name, your family, your friends, everything you know, and you are given new clothes, new food, a new language, and your neighbors expect you to immediately adapt to your new life. In addition, you have responsibility for 100+ students and your every action is watched and judged. My short time here has already changed my life and I hope that by reading this, it has in some small way affected yours. All of your comments, letters, and just the fact that you are reading this is a huge comfort. If you have any questions about Peace Corps, life or culture here, I'd be more than happy to discuss is with you!